Lillie McFerrin of Five Senetcne Ficiton has joined forces with Lady Bullish andJenelle to host a blog hop of Forbidden Love. Here's my effort that has left me rather heavy hearted . . . .
Don't Let the Morning Come
Looking up at the stars, we were for that moment the same as anyone else who dared to dream; wishing upon a star that those dreams would come true. Sam didn’t care as he breathed in the fresh, sweet smell of the night; the gentle lapping of the water’s edge a harmonious accompaniment to the beating of our hearts. I wished this night was everlasting. I wished the stars to stay forever and not let the sun come up with its bright optimism of a new and glorious summer’s day, for it would be forever winter in my heart.
“It will be ok.” Sam’s gentle voice of reassurance broke my melancholy as I looked into his beautiful blue eyes. A single tear ran down his cheek as he heard the approach of his fate.
“They can’t do this!” I said in a strong but desperate voice.
“Yes they can.” I knew Sam spoke the truth. I could feel the splinters of ice encasing my heart as the first signs of dawn approached. This was it. This was the final time. I couldn’t breathe. I clung to Sam, hoping they had made a mistake. . . .
He was confused and dazed when I found him, wandering across a boggy field; blood caked to his skin and uniform. I had cleaned him up by the river and he remembered a life of no bullets, guns or bombs, but music, love and laughter. I gave him those memories but now that’s all I would have; one last kiss before the blindfold wrapped around his eyes. Meticulously, the rifles aimed. The first bell tolled at six on 17th May 1914. The crackles of fire. The sun rose. Sam was gone; shot as a coward but a hero forever in my heart. . . .300 words
306 soldiers were executed for desertion and cowardice by their own side. Today those men would be treated for shell shock. They, and their families, have now been granted a posthumous pardon.
This is beautiful and bittersweet, made even more bittersweet by the postscript. :( Very well-written.ReplyDelete
I thought as I was writing about something that did happen to many, I'd better add the details. As long as it doesn't add to the word count.It needed to be said as if you were considered a coward, apart from being shot, your family suffered too and that's where the forbidden love comes in. No one wants to be associated with a coward even if they weren't. Thank you for reading and commenting. It means heaps. xxxDelete
The emotions here are palpable! 'forever winter in my heart' is so lovely in its simplicity. Thank you for entering!!ReplyDelete
Thank you for running the comp! I've never entered one before. The comments are amazing which does spur me on to write more. Yay! So if nothing else, thank you for the opportunity. xxxDelete
Oh, Lizzie! This is terribly beautiful. Not only a well told story but a wonderful tribute to the men and their families.ReplyDelete
Thank you for writing this and for entering our hop! :)
I'm so glad I did enter; having not entered anything like this before.I'm glad you like and your comment (and other's)is amazing. Thank you!!! xxxDelete
Ahhh wow what a truly gripping piece of love and loss. So sad that men lost their lives and families lost their loved ones, sons, husbands, brothers, in such a barbaric way. I cannot begin to imagine what trauma these men must have endured, what friends they must have lost along the way, the hands they would have held, the promises they would have made, the lives they would have had to take and the desperation and fear they must have suffered. A lovely tribute and thank you for sharing your beautiful words. JessReplyDelete
Thank you for such a beautiful comment chick. And thank you for taking time to visit and read. I thought you'd appreciate and like. Your comment is inspirational and now I'd like to write something else! xxxDelete
Soooooooo heartbreaking but written so beautifully. I don't know how you do this writing. You are so talented honey. You use such simple but also meaningful effective phrases. I love it even though I try and avoid reading sad things. It leaves me feeling content because she knew he was a hero in her heart and that's enough for her to keep going.ReplyDelete
You're such a big softy in your world of fluff. I love it. It means a lot that you read it depite it being sad and yes, there is comfort that he is a hero in her heart. I'm glad you liked chick and that you love my writing! I shall make a happy piece son just for you! xxxDelete
And I forgot to mention.....I love the image/quote at the very top. So true and believable. Love it.ReplyDelete
and in my last comment it should read soon not son! The quote was one of the tags for inspiration from the lovely ladies who created the Forbidden Love blog hop. It seemed the most apt for my little offering and it is rather emotive and so true. xxxDelete
Very moving, you write so beautifullyReplyDelete
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Thank you karen! It's so nice to hear you say that and spurs me on to write more! I'm pleased you visited and enjoyed the piece. xxxDelete
So lovely, where do you get the inspiration from?ReplyDelete
So sad and poignant , a tragic tale. Well written sis xxx
Well. originally, I was writing about the forbidden love of Sam (a black slave) and a white, wealthy American woman in the late 1800's and early 1900s of America but then as I was writing I just thought of the the first world war and then I remembered Private Peaceful and how it made me feel so I quickly changed a few things and here it is. I think it counts as a forbidden love when cowards were shunned in society (even though he isn't a coward). Glad you liked. . thought you would. xxxDelete
Truly beautiful Lizzie and perfectly written, like others have said more poignant for the fact that this really happened. Heartbreaking work!ReplyDelete
Thank you Lisa; means so much coming from you as your writing is so deep and beautiful (I read yours quite a bit!) I just read it again and yes; still amkes me sad. xxxDelete
Just lovely - great choice of subject and beautifully writtenReplyDelete
Thank you! I started out on a completely different subject and the WW1 popped into my head. Wasn;t sure it would work but it seemed to flow. Thank you for your lovely commment and for visitng my work. xxxDelete
Aww, I can understand how this made you feel heavy hearted.ReplyDelete
It's beautifully written, and the voice of the story carries on strongly.
I really liked this, you managed to convey a lot, with very few words.
Thank you so much! What a beautiful comment. I wasn't too sure at first and always have doubts about my work being too simple to be effective but your comment (and everyone elses) has inpsired me more. Thank you for visitng and reading! xxxDelete
This is so poignant - and the postscript just about broke my heart. A wonderful take on the theme.ReplyDelete
Thank you! I wasn't sure about the theme at first; but then you have to go with your instinct. I hadn't realised just how many men were shot so wehn I researched it, I just had to put it in the Post Script. it is heart breaking. Thank you for your comment and taking time to read and comment. xxxDelete
Oh Elizabeth, from first line to heartbreaking last line, your story is beautiful and beautifully told. I wasn't sure what to expect as I read through... and you revealed the difficult story very, very well. Lovely work.ReplyDelete
Thank you so much. What a beautiful comment. I wasn't sure where it was going as I wrote and 300 words is not a lot especially when you're prone to waffling! I'm pleased you enjoyed it (if that's the right word). Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. xxxDelete
Wow! I'm buzzing after a night out celebrating my friend's birthday so thought I'd unwind visiting my blog and am now overwhelmed by all the beautiful and positive comments. Thank you so much guys. You're all awesome writers (and readers). It has really made me appreciate the effort people go to in creating opportunities for us to be creative and write stories that can be shared. xxxReplyDelete
Well done for a very poignant and moving recount of that war, I am sure if the soldiers that were enlisted either willingly or otherwise had been given the choice would all have liked to come home. The few that did come home would forever be physically or mentally scarred.ReplyDelete
Thank you Clare for eading and leaving a comment. xxxxDelete
What a sad and moving story! Breaks my heart!ReplyDelete
It is a bit isn't it? I don't read it now as it's too sad. Thank you for your comment. Glad you enjoyed. . . if that's the right word! xxxDelete
This is an amazing piece Lizzie. I'm wondering what your inspiration was for creating this beautiful tribute?ReplyDelete
The entire first paragraph completely pulled me in. Well done!
I don't know really where the inspiration came from as I was writing about a black slave and white woman in America's deep south but then I suddenly thought of this and just wrote. I have read Private Peaceful by Michael Morpurgo a few years ago now and that could be my inspiration. Thank you for your amazing comment. Glad you liked. xxxDelete
This is truly lovely. What a sad, beautiful tale. Sadder still that this kind of thing really happened. You are indeed very talented and I am in awe :)ReplyDelete
Wow. That's extremely kind of. I was in awe of all the other entries and am quite surprised I came in the top three. I'm so pleased you liked it. Glad we met on twitter! xxDelete
That makes two of us, and don't be surprised you came in third. I can definitely see why :) xDelete
Sorry...came in 2nd! My bad!Delete
Lol; I forgive you. xxxDelete
Truly heartbreaking... I loved reading this!ReplyDelete
Thank you. That's good to hear. xxDelete