Lillie McFerrin of Five Senetcne Ficiton has joined forces with Lady Bullish andJenelle to host a blog hop of Forbidden Love. Here's my effort that has left me rather heavy hearted . . . .
Don't Let the Morning Come
Looking up at the stars, we were for that moment
the same as anyone else who dared to dream; wishing upon a star that those
dreams would come true. Sam didn’t care as he breathed in the fresh, sweet
smell of the night; the gentle lapping of the water’s edge a harmonious
accompaniment to the beating of our hearts. I wished this night was everlasting.
I wished the stars to stay forever and not let the sun come up with its bright
optimism of a new and glorious summer’s day, for it would be forever winter in
my heart.
“It will be ok.” Sam’s gentle voice of reassurance broke
my melancholy as I looked into his beautiful blue eyes. A single tear ran down his cheek as he heard
the approach of his fate.
“They can’t do this!” I said in a strong but
desperate voice.
“Yes they can.” I knew Sam spoke the truth. I
could feel the splinters of ice encasing my heart as the first signs of dawn
approached. This was it. This was the final time. I couldn’t breathe. I clung to
Sam, hoping they had made a mistake. . . .
He was confused and dazed when I found him,
wandering across a boggy field; blood caked to his skin and uniform. I had
cleaned him up by the river and he remembered a life of no bullets,
guns or bombs, but music, love and laughter. I gave him those memories but now
that’s all I would have; one last kiss before the blindfold wrapped around his eyes. Meticulously, the rifles aimed. The first bell tolled at six on 17th May 1914.
The crackles of fire. The sun rose. Sam was gone; shot
as a coward but a hero forever in my heart. . . .
300 wordsPost Script
306 soldiers were executed for desertion and cowardice by their own side. Today those men would be treated for shell shock. They, and their families, have now been granted a posthumous pardon.
This is beautiful and bittersweet, made even more bittersweet by the postscript. :( Very well-written.
ReplyDeleteI thought as I was writing about something that did happen to many, I'd better add the details. As long as it doesn't add to the word count.It needed to be said as if you were considered a coward, apart from being shot, your family suffered too and that's where the forbidden love comes in. No one wants to be associated with a coward even if they weren't. Thank you for reading and commenting. It means heaps. xxx
DeleteThe emotions here are palpable! 'forever winter in my heart' is so lovely in its simplicity. Thank you for entering!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for running the comp! I've never entered one before. The comments are amazing which does spur me on to write more. Yay! So if nothing else, thank you for the opportunity. xxx
DeleteOh, Lizzie! This is terribly beautiful. Not only a well told story but a wonderful tribute to the men and their families.
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this and for entering our hop! :)
I'm so glad I did enter; having not entered anything like this before.I'm glad you like and your comment (and other's)is amazing. Thank you!!! xxx
DeleteAhhh wow what a truly gripping piece of love and loss. So sad that men lost their lives and families lost their loved ones, sons, husbands, brothers, in such a barbaric way. I cannot begin to imagine what trauma these men must have endured, what friends they must have lost along the way, the hands they would have held, the promises they would have made, the lives they would have had to take and the desperation and fear they must have suffered. A lovely tribute and thank you for sharing your beautiful words. Jess
ReplyDeleteThank you for such a beautiful comment chick. And thank you for taking time to visit and read. I thought you'd appreciate and like. Your comment is inspirational and now I'd like to write something else! xxx
DeleteSoooooooo heartbreaking but written so beautifully. I don't know how you do this writing. You are so talented honey. You use such simple but also meaningful effective phrases. I love it even though I try and avoid reading sad things. It leaves me feeling content because she knew he was a hero in her heart and that's enough for her to keep going.
ReplyDeleteYou're such a big softy in your world of fluff. I love it. It means a lot that you read it depite it being sad and yes, there is comfort that he is a hero in her heart. I'm glad you liked chick and that you love my writing! I shall make a happy piece son just for you! xxx
DeleteAnd I forgot to mention.....I love the image/quote at the very top. So true and believable. Love it.
ReplyDeleteand in my last comment it should read soon not son! The quote was one of the tags for inspiration from the lovely ladies who created the Forbidden Love blog hop. It seemed the most apt for my little offering and it is rather emotive and so true. xxx
DeleteVery moving, you write so beautifully
ReplyDeleteX x x
Thank you karen! It's so nice to hear you say that and spurs me on to write more! I'm pleased you visited and enjoyed the piece. xxx
DeleteSo lovely, where do you get the inspiration from?
ReplyDeleteSo sad and poignant , a tragic tale. Well written sis xxx
Well. originally, I was writing about the forbidden love of Sam (a black slave) and a white, wealthy American woman in the late 1800's and early 1900s of America but then as I was writing I just thought of the the first world war and then I remembered Private Peaceful and how it made me feel so I quickly changed a few things and here it is. I think it counts as a forbidden love when cowards were shunned in society (even though he isn't a coward). Glad you liked. . thought you would. xxx
DeleteTruly beautiful Lizzie and perfectly written, like others have said more poignant for the fact that this really happened. Heartbreaking work!
ReplyDeleteThank you Lisa; means so much coming from you as your writing is so deep and beautiful (I read yours quite a bit!) I just read it again and yes; still amkes me sad. xxx
DeleteJust lovely - great choice of subject and beautifully written
ReplyDeleteThank you! I started out on a completely different subject and the WW1 popped into my head. Wasn;t sure it would work but it seemed to flow. Thank you for your lovely commment and for visitng my work. xxx
DeleteAww, I can understand how this made you feel heavy hearted.
ReplyDeleteIt's beautifully written, and the voice of the story carries on strongly.
I really liked this, you managed to convey a lot, with very few words.
Well done!
Thank you so much! What a beautiful comment. I wasn't too sure at first and always have doubts about my work being too simple to be effective but your comment (and everyone elses) has inpsired me more. Thank you for visitng and reading! xxx
DeleteThis is so poignant - and the postscript just about broke my heart. A wonderful take on the theme.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I wasn't sure about the theme at first; but then you have to go with your instinct. I hadn't realised just how many men were shot so wehn I researched it, I just had to put it in the Post Script. it is heart breaking. Thank you for your comment and taking time to read and comment. xxx
DeleteOh Elizabeth, from first line to heartbreaking last line, your story is beautiful and beautifully told. I wasn't sure what to expect as I read through... and you revealed the difficult story very, very well. Lovely work.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. What a beautiful comment. I wasn't sure where it was going as I wrote and 300 words is not a lot especially when you're prone to waffling! I'm pleased you enjoyed it (if that's the right word). Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. xxx
DeleteWow! I'm buzzing after a night out celebrating my friend's birthday so thought I'd unwind visiting my blog and am now overwhelmed by all the beautiful and positive comments. Thank you so much guys. You're all awesome writers (and readers). It has really made me appreciate the effort people go to in creating opportunities for us to be creative and write stories that can be shared. xxx
ReplyDeleteWell done for a very poignant and moving recount of that war, I am sure if the soldiers that were enlisted either willingly or otherwise had been given the choice would all have liked to come home. The few that did come home would forever be physically or mentally scarred.
ReplyDeleteThank you Clare for eading and leaving a comment. xxxx
DeleteWhat a sad and moving story! Breaks my heart!
ReplyDeleteIt is a bit isn't it? I don't read it now as it's too sad. Thank you for your comment. Glad you enjoyed. . . if that's the right word! xxx
DeleteThis is an amazing piece Lizzie. I'm wondering what your inspiration was for creating this beautiful tribute?
ReplyDeleteThe entire first paragraph completely pulled me in. Well done!
I don't know really where the inspiration came from as I was writing about a black slave and white woman in America's deep south but then I suddenly thought of this and just wrote. I have read Private Peaceful by Michael Morpurgo a few years ago now and that could be my inspiration. Thank you for your amazing comment. Glad you liked. xxx
DeleteThis is truly lovely. What a sad, beautiful tale. Sadder still that this kind of thing really happened. You are indeed very talented and I am in awe :)
ReplyDeleteWow. That's extremely kind of. I was in awe of all the other entries and am quite surprised I came in the top three. I'm so pleased you liked it. Glad we met on twitter! xx
DeleteThat makes two of us, and don't be surprised you came in third. I can definitely see why :) x
DeleteSorry...came in 2nd! My bad!
DeleteLol; I forgive you. xxx
DeleteTruly heartbreaking... I loved reading this!
ReplyDeleteThank you. That's good to hear. xx
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