Saturday, 2 February 2013

5 Sentence Fiction Delicate






The delicate fragrance lingered long after she had passed and he breathed in the intoxicating smell, letting it invade all his senses and his mind. It was all he could think about as he left his seat in the train carriage and followed the smell as the train pulled into the station.
He spotted her walking up the stairs and he quickly made his way off the train unable to ignore the smell any longer; night after night he had smelt her, watched her and ignored her . . . .  until now.  
Now was the right time for him to introduce himself; his confidence overflowing as he picked up his step, hoping to catch her up and share with her his love of perfume, her perfume.
In fact he was sure he carried that very same perfume in his pocket, the very same perfume that he had left with the last woman after she had said no; the newspapers called it his signature and penned him the rather unimaginative 'Perfume Killer'. . .   



Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week lillie mcferrin  will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.


Posted by at
Labels: , , , , ,

20 comments:

  1. Robin Leigh Morgan2 February 2013 at 02:18

    This endeavor communicates an underlying sense of revenge of the killer, a killer who had been jilted by a woman he had once been madly in love with. This created a furor within him, which lead to his killing her. Now the scent of this same perfume instantly turns himself a Mr. Hyde, as he reacts once again out of pure emotion remembering what had once happen in his past.

    Would love for you to check out my endeavor to this prompt of "DELICATE." THANKS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown7 February 2013 at 21:14

      Thank you for your comment; I never really though of why at the time of writing; I guess in five sentences sometimes why doesn't matter. But I think you're right about revenge. xx

      Delete
  2. Anonymous2 February 2013 at 13:52

    This was a thriller! Well done! I want to know what happened!
    McGuffy's Reader
    http://www.mcguffysreader.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown7 February 2013 at 21:15

      Thank you! I don't know what happens. . . .yet ;-) Thank you for visiting. xxx

      Delete
  3. Anonymous2 February 2013 at 16:25

    A great story.
    This delicate prompt is certainly having its more than fair share of gruesome tales.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown7 February 2013 at 21:16

      I know. I was going to go down another route but it seemed too gentle and not going anywhere. I guess when it's dark, there's more to get your teeth into when there's only 5 sentences. Thank you for visiting. xx

      Delete
  4. Jayne Martin2 February 2013 at 18:06

    ARGGHHH! Yet another reason I don't wear perfume and for sure will not after reading this scary tale. Good job!! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown7 February 2013 at 21:18

      Oops, sorry. Glad you liked it though. I've only just started wearing it. . .after working in a department store where they spray it constantly, it did put me off for a long time! Thanks for visting. xx

      Delete
  5. Anonymous3 February 2013 at 08:29

    wow the set up at the beginning was brill- theirs me thinking he liked her but the ending then twisted and i want to know if she will be ok!! excellent post yet again x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown7 February 2013 at 21:20

      Thank you! I really appreciate that you visit and comment on my work regularly. I didn't want to give the game away too early so needed to string you along. . . sorry ;-) xx

      Delete
  6. K R Smith3 February 2013 at 14:29

    I smell a murder mystery novel here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown7 February 2013 at 21:21

      I wish! Not sure I have the skill for all the twists and turns a murder mystery needs . . but you never know. xx

      Delete
  7. Lisa Shambrook3 February 2013 at 19:30

    Worrying! I like your serial killer pieces!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown7 February 2013 at 21:22

      Thanks Lisa. I enjoy writing the darker pieces too. xx

      Delete
  8. C.C. 5 February 2013 at 16:10

    I'd love to read more of this! Perfume killer, mercy! Well done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown7 February 2013 at 21:23

      Thank you. I have a feeling I need to expand on this tale after all the comments. Thank you for visiting. xx

      Delete
  9. Miranda Kate6 February 2013 at 12:16

    Oh that's brilliant! Great piece - even reminded me of the book Perfume. Well done, flowed well and had such a punch at the end!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown7 February 2013 at 21:25

      Oh, I never knew there was a book called Perfume. I swear this is my own idea. But pleased you liked it. Thank you for visiting. xx

      Delete
  10. Unknown6 February 2013 at 15:36

    Great piece! I thought the writing itself was very delicate. Not only while I thought that he was genuinely in love but the reveal as well was very smooth.

    Thanks for sharing :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown7 February 2013 at 21:27

      What a lovely comment! Thank you. Delicate is not a word usually associated with me in any aspect of my life. Glad you enjoyed it. xx

      Delete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)