Saturday, 14 July 2012

Composure 5 Sentence Ficiton

What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week Lillie will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.

This week: Composure
 Face to face

The sweat trickled slowly down Sally’s back, making her feel more uncomfortable than she already was; if that was possible. Her palms were clammy and her mouth claggy like a whole chocolate muffin had been shovelled in but Sally hadn’t eaten since last night; her nerves wouldn’t let her which was silly as she’d done this a thousand times before.

The clock hand headed slowly towards one and she stood up, adjusting her shirt and tucking a stray hair behind her ear as the large wooden door opened. Imagining Audrey Hepburn (her idol) she walked in purposeful and tall, her soft shoes not making a sound but her breathing fast and heavy as she afforded a glance around the room and her eyes locked with the reason she was there; his steel blue eyes still vacant of any expression, remorse or even life, staring through her like he did that summer’s afternoon when she turned up on his door step. . .

A moment later she was rolling around the floor; the last words she heard fading like the light of day . . . ‘Urgent assistance required, officer down’ as PC Sally Smith had just been doing her job; just like now in  court room number five.


  1. Who shot her? Was the guy with blue eyes someone she'd once arrested and he was on trial now? I want to give you some constructive feedback, but I'm just a little confused here.

  2. Sounds to me like she turned up at a routine call last summer and was shot, for no reason, by the man with the vacant stare. Now she's terrified of facing him in court at his trial...more so now she's seen those same cold, steel blue eyes staring back at her...
    I liked your description of her nerves, especially the clammy palms and mouth!
    Enjoyed your use of the prompt Lizzie...and extra points for getting Audrey Hepburn (Queen of cool composure) in there!

  3. My reading of this was that she ended up having a heart attack, I didn't think she was shot. I think it's a very good story, Lizzie,a great take on the prompt. If you go back and just have a read through (reading it aloud) you may see a couple of places to tighten it up (if you want). I'm also happy to read a story where the court officer is a woman - a nice change.:))

  4. Enjoyed it. I agree with Jo-Anne, another read through aloud might benefit. I got a good sense of your female character here.

  5. Love the twist, leads you on as a typical stage fright tale before throwing in the true implications

  6. You had me at the Audrey Hepburn photo! You captured the anxiety of the moment very well.

  7. Hey last one for now, your story reminded me of your police story, very good!