Monday 6 January 2014

Moments 5 Sentence Fiction

 
It's been sometime since I wrote for 5 Sentence fiction and I've realised how hard it is getting back into it. I won't leave it so long next time as I try and find my way around this challenging fiction. This week is 'moments'. For other stories based on the prompt, visit http://lilliemcferrin.com, the home of 5 Sentence Fiction






There are rare moments when I still love you more than anything, more than anyone could possibly love another person; I wish I didn’t but I can’t help my heart.


There are raging moments when I imagine killing you with one sudden plunge of the kitchen knife, then all the pain and violence would be over; but the moment,  along with my will to live, is pummelled out of me.  


The lies would be over too; having to lie to my family and our own children that I walked into the door again, tripped over the skateboard, again; all would be over if only my self preservation lasted for more than a moment.


There are powerful but fleeting moments when I know I shouldn’t love you, that I should just pack up and leave, taking the kids with me somewhere where you can never hurt me again.


But then there are moments, like when you bring me a cup of tea, just how I like it, before  smiling at me with cold staring eyes as you return to your newspaper, that I know I can never have the strength or the courage to leave you.


17 comments:

  1. Very powerful, like you've never had a break away from these

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    1. Thank you Laura. Wish it felt that way as I wrote. xx

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  2. Oooo yes very intense. It is very scary that there are so many situations out there just like your 5 sentence fiction. Love is a powerful thing. Love it honey. :-)

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  3. Very powerful. Fear is a crippling emotion and I like the way you worked through the possible reasons to and for removing the man from your life before coming to the conclusion not to even though you know he'll never change his ways.

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    1. It's so very sad that these situations exist. Thank you for reading and commenting. x

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  4. Strong work. Her desperation, illogical love, and realization of her dilemma shine through. I'm glad this is fiction, but I wish it weren't so close to too many (one is too many) truths.

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    1. My thoughts exactly. Thank you for stopping by for a read. xx

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  5. I can't imagine what living like this would be-and for that I am grateful! This was a stunning piece of writing-well done, Lizzie!

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    1. Wow, thank you Valerie. And thank you for reading and leaving such a generous comment. x

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  6. Wow. This one was a real kick in the gut. You conveyed what that tragic trap must feel like with chilling realism.

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  7. I loved this! I had a story that I was working on and this sounded something she would do, but instead of stabbing people she started poisoning them.

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  8. This is so beautifully written ... I specially loved the last sentence, and the summation is perfect :-)

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  9. Or in fewer words, The typical life of a married wife.
    I like it.

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  10. Quite a range of emotions going in different directions - that is what makes this story for me.How will she resolve them? A perfect internal conflict!

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  11. Really good Lizzie, quiet resignation. I need to do some of these again too, I miss FSF!

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