It's been a while since I wrote a five sentence fiction story and it was hard!! This week's word is freedom.
Liam sat in the windowless box room, his hands clasped tight, wondering how on earth he came to be in this situation, having always believed in justice, and now relying on twelve strangers to do the right thing.
It was soon time to hear his fate, and Liam was lead out, back up into the courtroom where all eyes fell on him, including hers, the one who had brought him here in the first place, the one who told the vicious lies without flinching or remorse, the one he rejected when she flung herself at him.
The judge uttered his words and Liam’s face paled, his knees buckled under him as he wretched with fear and disbelief, tears rolling down sallow cheeks as freedom was no longer his right. His wife’s agonising howl echoed around the courtroom, making Liam’s heart ache, wanting to hold her, reassure her everything would be alright, he would be strong, he would survive, they would survive the injustice thrown upon them.
But time was no longer his friend and wouldn’t be for the next five years as he was lead from the court with his wife’s cries ringing in his ears.
Written for Lillie Mcferrin's Five Sentence Fiction where you can also read the other stories. xxx
Whoa Lizzie! You packed a load of drama into five sentences. I really enjoyed it. And good job not going for the happy ending.ReplyDelete
It was touch and go with the ending but, yes, glad I stuck to the miserable ending. Thanks for stopping by to read and comment. Much appreciated. xDelete
This is definitely a thought provoking piece.
While it seems Liam had been totally unfaithful to his dear wife by getting involved with the tramp of he did, and got what he deserved; the high-priced harlot didn’t like what he’d done to her by having dared to use another slut one night when she couldn’t be with him when he wanted her to. Revenge is sweet, however someone who is innocent and totally not involved with what had transpired has to suffer.
I feel sorry for his wife who now must suffer for five years without his presence; and must now also decide whether or not she still wants to have anything to do with him.
WELL DONE ! ! !
Did I read too much into what you wrote here, or is this the image you wanted us to get?
Thanks for the feedback. As far as the wife goes, yes, I feel for her but also Liam as he's also an innocent party, having rejected her advances. Thanks for reading and taking time to comment.Delete
Great take on the prompt, Lizzie. I can't imagine there is anything more wrenching than being sentenced for something you didn't do! I hope they make it through the five years - together in spite of the difficulties!! xoReplyDelete
Thank you!!! Glad you liked and got it. It'll be a looooooong five years but hopefully they'll be OK . . .Delete
Agree with Ruth, loved this. So much emotion in such a short work, you've not lost your 5sf touch xReplyDelete
Thank you! Looking forward to the next one now!Delete
Great stuff Lizzie...how anyone could misinterpret your writing us beyond me...I hope there is retribution for the lying woman. Nothing worse than being accused of something you didn't do! Hope he gets her on his appeal, lol.ReplyDelete
I know! Thanks for your support and kind words.Delete
It's good, but you could have made it splendid with a bit of finesse.ReplyDelete
I like the idea of splendid.Delete
It's a beautiful story,Lizzie.ReplyDelete
Thank you! So pleased you liked! Thanks for taking time to read and comment.Delete
Oh poor Liam and his wife!!!! I think they will survive the 5 years. I get the feeling they are both so in love and strong and committed. Love this one honey. xxReplyDelete
Thanks Chick. I love your optimism for Liam and his wife in this situation. xDelete