Friday, 31 May 2013

5 Sentence Fiction Desolate (Part 2 Zoe)





Wrote this whilst sitting out in the sun today; what glorious weather at last. This is a follow up to the piece I wrote a few weeks back because some wanted more and the prompt this week seemed to fit. If you want to read the previous piece, click here Accident; 5 sentence fiction. It's only 5 sentences lol. xxx       

              
It was hard for people to understand the isolation Zoe felt; as far as they were concerned she wasn’t just living the dream, she had achieved it; a successful career in PR, beautifully tailored clothes, enough money in the bank to retire, and the perfect fiancĂ©.
She entered her party where the lavishly decorated room was filled with family, supposed friends and fake work colleagues all wishing her a happy birthday; happy was as far from the truth as the scene being played out in front of her, especially her part. 
She watched as a feeling of desolation crept over her, gnawing away at her lies and veneered truth; none of these people knew her; really knew her for the life she gave them was the life she still dreamed, could only dream.
If only they knew just yesterday she was held hostage in a grimy warehouse with a gun to her head, waiting for Death to sweep his ominous shadow over her.

If it wasn’t for her handler, Jerry, she would have been shot, dumped into a quiet part of the river to eventually wash up on a desolate river bank entangled in flotsam; she smiled at him as he approached, the only truth in her life.


For more 5SF, visit http://lilliemcferrin.com/ for more tales and takes on the prompt 'Desolate'.




16 comments:

  1. Oh I like that.. Reminds me of one of my characters who keeps her life as an assassin secret...xx

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    1. Ooh, nice story. I'm not sure where this one is going. But I'm pleased you like. xx

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  2. Ah, "Alias", well-sort of. Anyway, reminded me of that, only a bit darker.
    Scott
    Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/06/01/five-sentence-fiction-53113-desolate-apocalypse-rated-pg13/

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    1. I shall that as a compliment :-)) I like dark! xx

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  3. Very dark and mysterious. Nicely written!

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  4. This does beg for more... a serial story perhaps...:)

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    1. Thank you. A serial story sounds interesting; I haven't done that before. Something new to try! xx

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  5. I agree, I think this has so much to offer in a longer story.

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    1. Thank you! Your comments are spurring me on to do just that. xx

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  6. Whenever I read a story like this, I always think of the poem "Richard Cory."

    Anyway, I've always liked the name Zoe - I have no idea why.

    Good job on the FSF - and yes, it could be made into a longer story. There's lots to work with here.

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    1. I don't know poetry well but will investigate. Thank you for your comment; glad you liked it and the name! xx

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  7. I am commenting Mrs. Koch!!! Just looked for this on your page and found. Yep, you could continue as a story, chapter by chapter. She's so mysterious and puts on such a good front to keep everyone fooled as to what her real life is like. Will you write more to link with this???

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    1. Hoping to; people seem to like it and that's always a good sign to write more!!! I'm liking Zoe already. xx

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