Monday, 18 February 2013

5 Sentence Fiction Cherish



The small engraved wooden box was there on the top most shelf as it always was, covered in cobwebs and dust, looking ignored but I knew differently, for the old woman cherished this box like it was worth its weight in gold but I could see no monetary value in it; it was just an old box. Now as she lay breathing her last on her threadbare candlewick bedspread, I felt the box calling to me; justifying my desire to take what wasn't mine with little voices begging me to open the box. The shallow breathing of the old woman seemed to egg me on as my finger tips reached for the box, clawing it into my grasp where I immediately brushed away the dust to reveal the full beauty of the box; carvings of beautiful women with flowing hair like a river, balls of sapphires for eyes, mesmerising me to open the box. Gingerly, I opened it; the old woman’s breathing changed as I felt my essence being sucked into the box and her hand gently rest on my shoulder, a hand where thick blue veins disappeared and old spots vanished.
“Thank you my dear” I heard her sing as I saw her oldness and fragility replaced by youth and beauty and my body now just a shrivelled shell as she carefully placed the box on the shelf before skipping outside.

There it is-  five sentence flash fiction from the prompt Cherish.  For more stories, please visit lilliemcferrin.com/five-sentence-fiction-cherish/ who hosts a new challenge every week. xx

14 comments:

  1. Nicely done! I wanted her to become one of the beautiful women carved into the box too. All those spirits trapped so she can claim longevity!

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    1. That's a cool idea. . . I never thought of that. xx

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  2. Wow ... this was a nice read !!!

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  3. Oh my. This is hauntingly perfect. Very good writing.

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    1. Thank you. I did enjoy writing this one and seeing finally come together. xx

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  4. Whoa! It wasn't a twist so much as I wasn't expecting that to happen. I really liked your story.

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    1. Thanks Chantel. It's amazing where the 5 sentences take us. xx

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    1. Thank you. I would love to have the chance to expand on this one. . .xx

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  6. This is better than you can imagine...

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  7. Very, very well done! I savored every word of this story, my curiosity leading me to be pulled in right along with him. Creative writing at it's best here!

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