Sunday 15 April 2012

5 Sentence Fiction Armour




5 Sentence Ficiton Armour





What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week I will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction. (http://lilliemcferrin.blogspot.co.uk/)

Armour
For once, Max was extremely grateful for her choice in clothing today as she lay on the soft blanket of grass, looking up through the overhanging branches as the sunlight peeked through; a reminder of how wonderfully exhilarating summer days can be.
She lay still as the blurred branches swayed gently to and frow revealing glimpses of a clear blue sky that filled Max with a surprising but much needed tranquillity.  
She was hot now; uncomfortably so as she felt her whole body ache which was a good sign despite the stillness and odd angle her legs appeared to be.
Voices were getting nearer and before she knew it, strange heads towered over her, blocking out the daylight, all talking at once; but this was a relief as she forced a small smile beneath the misted and now claustrophobic visor, even though one of these unknown faces was the cause of her predicament.   
Yes, Max was thankful that on this hot summer’s day, she decided to kit herself out in her leathers; her uniform, her armour for the road and today it had saved her skin as she afforded a quick glance at her beloved bike; a mangled mess under the very tree she had lay that had ended her ride so abruptly, before the doors of the ambulance closed.  


25 comments:

  1. Ohhhhhh......I am glad that Max is still alive!!! Right? I love this one Mrs. Koch. It might be my favourite one so far.

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  2. I'm glad you like. I wanted to create an atmosphere of a gorgeous sunny day, sunbathing and then . . .
    May just have pipped the Highway Man for my fav too. As for Max . . . that would be telling. . .xxx

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  3. Brilliant, I love your 5 Second Fiction ones the best, always a little twist at the end.
    Well done you, get that book out soon. xxxx

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    1. I replied to yours in the wrong place lol; your reply is belowozy Doris that I am. x

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  4. Clever idea! The last sentence was a bit long... :-)
    I'll be popping back for more, and hoping for news of that book deal.
    BW,
    Lesley x.

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    1. I struggled with the last sentence sooo much to get in and then after it was proof read, it was posted. Maybe a bit more time editing and improving. . . But glad you liked.

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  5. It's not for the want of trying and what with postage going up in a few weeks it's going to cost me even more. Thanks for commenting; means lots and I do like my little twist . . hook the reader then bam lol. xx

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  6. I really love the ending, but I love the middle more. First time through I was thinking, "Why are her legs at odd angles?" And then I read the end and thought, "Ohhhhhhh!" So good. Five Sentence Foreshadowing...yay!

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    1. Thank you! I like the middle too; a few little clues to make you ask questions but nothing more . . makes you want to read on (hopefully). xxx

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  7. I loved how you led the reader down the proverbial path with bread crumbs.

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    1. Why thank you; I do like to tease and not be so obvious. xxx

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    1. Thank you chick. And to think this was one that nearly got away as didn't feel too confident about it. How wrong was I? x

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  9. Excellent Honey, loved the twist at the end thought she was up to no good with her legs up in the air lol xxx

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  10. Love the stories with twists! Great idea and execution...well she almost was, wasn't she? (I'll be careful on my bike now!)

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    1. It's other road users that need to be careful when it comes to the biker. Take care and thank you for visitng and commenting. xx

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  11. I love the imagery in the beginning as trees and sunlight are some of my favorite things :) You always make me smile with your creative endings!

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    1. Thank you; sounds like I have a writing style with my endings. Glad you liked; means a lot. xxx

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  12. This surprise ending packed a whallup! Love all the peaceful imagery leading up to it. Good job.

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    1. Thank you! It's lovely when someone else likes it; and to think I didn't think this one was any good! Thanks for visitng and reading. xx

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  13. I thought she might have fallen asleep and woken in a funny position. I bet she wish she had, given the twist.

    Nice work :)

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  14. Loved the ending! Well done!
    http://jenniferworrell.wordpress.com

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