What it’s all about:
Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each
week Lillie will post a one word
inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story
based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five
sentences, just use it for direction.
Pirates
There was not an ounce
of respite from the unforgiving sun as its rays beat down as the palm trees surrounding
him stood motionless like soldiers on century duty. Their leaves teased Luke
that they could give some shade but as he dug deep in the fine golden sands,
his skin began to blister in the searing heat despite the bronzed glow he had
from months at sea. Desperation took hold as the hole became so deep, Luke
could not be seen; if he couldn’t find it . . . he would be digging his own
grave.
“That’s a fine
whole you’re a digging’ came the unmistakable voice Luke had feared; looking up,
his fear confirmed as the Captain stared down through masses of black, matted
hair matching the unruly beard.
With resolve
disappearing fast, Luke swung the spade knowing it would be his last act on
this earth but it resisted as it hit the sand, making an unmistakeable clunk;
the Captain’s cracked face broke into a wicked smile showing teeth as black as
his beard as he murmured ‘Lucky . . . . . for now Master Luke, lucky for now.’
First of all, I love the name Luke . It is one of my favourite boys names so right away I was sucked in to this story. Second, although I am not a fan of any of the pirates films, I still read this piece of fiction because I know how awesome you are at writing. I love it. I can picture how horrible and wicked that captain is. And I can picture how gorgeous and humble Luke probably is. Well done for keeping my interest and making it easy to imagine the setting and know the characters without any pics to go with it!!
ReplyDeleteI really struggled with the name and even now 'Luke' doesn't sound piratey enough. Glad you liked. xxx
DeleteGrrr Argggg that's my pirate impression!
ReplyDeleteWould like to know what happens to poor Luke, and your pirate sounds nasty, no Disney pirates here xxx
Indeed, no Disneyfied Pirates at all. I may carry it on . . . . xx
DeleteWhat's in the box? Now you're leaving us in suspense! Lovely piece(s of eight!)lol
ReplyDeleteHa ha, thank you for that little laugh. The box contains. . . . .now that will be telling ;-) xx
DeleteOooh, you tease!
DeleteFun read. Nice story arc for such a tight write!
ReplyDeleteThank you!Glad you liked. xxx
DeleteGreat stuff. Cramming rich characterisation in just five sentences is a tall order but you pull it off here. This deserves a fuller treatment.
ReplyDeleteOoh thank you! I may do something with it as it was rather enjoyable and I do tend to love my characters I create! xxx
DeleteI agree with Jeff! I want to know more! Just how long will Luke's luck hold out?! Wonderful writing! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'm sooo pleased you like my writing! I may use the idea in one of my stories . . not sure yet. . . XXX
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ReplyDeleteI have the feeling that he is digging in the wrong spot. Oh no!
ReplyDeleteHttp://www.thejadedlens.com/2012/07/11
Now that would be telling. . . . Thank you for stopping by. xxxx
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